I've finally begun on the first bits of what will hopefully become my first full-fledged writing endeavor (it happens to be a YA sci-fi novel series in three planned installments). It's been an interesting experience so far, and probably the most exciting and intriguing creative project I've yet attempted. As an illustrator I've never thought myself much of a storyteller. Sure, I can grasp the kinds of storytelling cues to consider when bringing images to a text, but I never really feel like I put much of myself into my work. There is always a disconnect. A barrier that separates the satisfaction of creating something from the personal pride in imbuing it with some bit of my true self. I never feel like I'm illustrating for me. Because I'm not. I'm serving another author's words. A story that is not my own.
Writing allows for boundless freedom to express myself through my own ideas. But what if I'm not a good storyteller? This question plagues me beyond all others.
For now, I'm ignoring that self-doubt and replacing it with curiosity and the thrill of trying. Trying something new, something that scares me, something that allows me a level of self-expression lacking in my other creative outlets. Perhaps I will turn out to be less of a storyteller than I wish I were. But for the first time in my life I feel like I have something to say and I must push through my self-imposed fear and limitation in order to serve that voice. The voice that tells me that there is something worthy in this struggle. That it just might be what I need to become the person I've known I was all along.
We shall see.